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I originally planned to spend the summer in France, but my body made other plans.  After dealing with stomach issues for about 6 weeks, I finally decided it was time to give up and go home. I learned a lot about the French medical system and will share some information about it here.

Au Revoir

 Fortunately, I could get doctors'  appointments quickly in Monflanquin. The initial visit cost 25 euros which the local doctor collected himself. He referred me to a gastroenterologist in another larger town. The gastro doctor asked me immediately if I live alone in France.  The question felt invasive to me as an American. Yes, I explained  that my husband had gone back to the states. The doctor seemed very concerned about this. Who would I contact in an emergency?  But was my problem so serious that he felt I might easily  find myself in an emergency situation?  I assured him I knew a lot of people in the village.  His concern about my being alone did not make me feel better.

He then requested my blood works results. Didn't he get them online? No, I was supposed to hand carry them to him.  News to me. He became annoyed when I asked him to check my blood work results online. French doctors don't get access to this information. Patients are supposed to go to the lab web site, print off the results, and hand carry them to the doctor.  Computers don't seem to play a large part in the life of a French doctor. When the gastroenterologist decided to prescribe me some medication, he took out a gigantic red medical book and looked up the dosage  information.  He then gave me a sealed envelope to hand carry to the doctor that referred me to him. Inside was a letter describing his diagnosis.

After the physical exam, the gastroenterologist  decided I should get a stool sample analysis, a stomach x ray, and a colonoscopy. He did not even suggest waiting to see if the prescribed medications would help. Apparently, this is the French way.  Overkill. Do every test imaginable immediately. I decided to wait and see if the medications would work, and they did help a little but not enough. In the meantime,  my  wonderful and kind English friend Jan who is a nurse  reassured me with information I could understand.   But I continued to feel really uneasy about my health, homesick for my family,  anxious and sad. Something clearly was off.  One  American friend asked me why I needed to be a "hero" and stay all summer just because I had originally planned to do so. So  yes I gave up. I booked a flight to NYC   to spend  time with family and then  another flight to Portland to go home.  How did I feel about leaving? Regretful of course, but I knew I had made the right decision.  It was time to be kind  to myself, to go home, and get medical attention in the context of a health care system I could understand.  By the way, despite my competency in French, I felt very lost trying to understand the French medical terms.

Finally, I learned a few important lessons this summer which I will share to benefit others who may become ill while traveling.  I do realize my situation this summer  was unique because I living in a village among people I know. But here goes:

1. If you don't feel well in another country,  get medical care immediately even if you don't speak the language and want to avoid the hassle, inconvenience. and expense. Find a translator. Don't wait! Forget the sightseeing plans.

2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help. Don't feel you have to put on a front. Just because you are on vacation doesn't mean real life stops.  

3. Ask for what you need be it from the local pharmacy, your traveling companions, neighbors, friends, and even strangers. Cry if you need to. I think I did freak out my French friends who never get to see me upset, but so be it.  They all reacted with concern and compassion.

4.If you feel you have tried everything, just go home and take care of yourself. Don't let pride, shame , or stubbornness stand in your way.

I am  truly burned out from my  first ever being sick experience in Monflanquin this summer.  I am going home to Portland to sort out my health issues.  Although, it is very  hard to accept that I was so unhappy in my usual happy place, I do accept it.  And despite all of the suffering, I did manage to make new friends and grow closer to people who have known me a very long time.  In addition,  I learned a lot about the French health care system. But most important of all, I  was reminded that it is okay to give up when a situation becomes physically and emotionally  overwhelming and go back to the familiarity and comfort of home.